Friday, March 30, 2012

A Day in which I do Horrible Things Like Stay Home From School and Eat Frozen Yogurt

I have allergies.

Hah! You thought I was excuse-less didn't you! An excuse for staying home and reading books and eating yogurt.

This yogurt.
It is clinically proven that Ono Yo's frozen yogurt destroys the allergy cells, which causes your throat itch pretty bad, which causes you to stay home from school.

Just joking. But it is good for your soul.

Despite what you may think I did do something that qualifies me for staying home. At 11:00 my mom and I made our way to the doctor's office where I sat on a doctor-office-green chair reading the Smithsonian while giving extremely strong mind messages to whoever would be treating me to not give me a shot. And, when the nurse came and brought us into the wall-papered doctor's private office, I gave extremely strong mind messages there. My temperature was taken, I aaaawwwweeeed for the wooden stick holding my tongue down, and then it came. 

"Did we already check for mono last time?"

I assured the nurse that yes, yes we did. 

"I think we better do it again. Sorry about that."

Do not ever believe the books that tell you that mind messages work. Those things are liars. 

If the doctor's office was not associated with gleaming sharp things going in my skin and medicine being diagnosed that tasted like the pink color it was I think I would like it. There's always faint music escaping from under the door of the- I don't know what to call it, the place doctors and nurses go when they're not treating patients place. This time it was swing music with trumpets hooting and saxophones yawning. As I contemplated the fact that soon a needle would be in my skin one of the nurses sang to the music,
"Why, why, why, whyyyy?" 
Do you think the doctor's office believes in irony? 
Also, the most important reason I like it are the people. Most of them I've known my whole life. They've always been wonderful to me. When I was little they littered me with multi-colored stickers. Now they ask what grade I'm in, do I like my classes, and laugh with me. They also gave me my stitches from the time I had to get a mole removed and they heard it was the first stitches in our family. What I'm trying to say is they're fantastic people.

The good news was that testing for mono does not mean prolonged blood draws like I was envisioning.
The bad news is it does mean finger pricking. 
The good news is that, apparently I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be taking shots. 
The bad news is that this simply means that I do not cry or shout at the top of my lungs anymore. 
The good news is that I don't have mono, I don't have strep, and I don't even have cancer. 
The bad news is that I seem to be allergic to dust.

After this my mom and I went to get yogurt.

What? You feel like I can't stop talking about frozen yogurt? Why in the world would you ever come to that conclusion? Let me know when you come up with an answer.

As I was saying, after this my mom and I went to get yogurt. Which happens to be right across from my school. Which made me feel slightly guilty. I felt like I was betraying my classmates by dipping my purple spoon in that raspberry frozen yogurt. Somehow I was able to forget most of my guilt as I licked the spoon. Because school was almost out I didn't go to my last period even though I didn't have strep, or mono, or cancer. I did go to writer's club. And no, classmates that saw me walking through town after I didn't go to school I was not skipping. I was just staying home from school doing horrible things like reading books and eating frozen yogurt. 
Clinically proven frozen yogurt, mind you.

1 comment:

  1. One should never feel guilty about eating ono yogurt!